(photo by Mallory Dowd)
I ask because there’s a common perception that living abroad and teaching English isn’t “real life.” Hell, I’ve heard it from some people here in Korea since I’ve been back. Those that are leaving saying they’re “getting back to real life,” and those that are here saying they’re “avoiding real life.” And I heard this perception echoed quite often while living in Chicago. When talking about my first time in Korea, friends and family often responded with “that’s like a year long vacation!”
Let’s tackle one very simple thing first: I don’t work on vacation.
When I think of vacations, it generally involves some time relaxing and quite a bit more time exploring. Be it monuments, hidden gems, food, or new cultural experiences I prefer to move at whatever pace feels right for the day. Set my own clock, and go with whims and fancies. That mindset isn’t really an option when working abroad.
I have a very set time when I need to be at school, and there’s a curriculum I need to follow. Add in lesson planning, grading, and dealing with raving mad (yet still adorable) 7-year-olds who can’t understand a single instruction I give, and this surely isn’t my idea of a vacation. But more than any of the nitty gritty, the bottom line is that I’m trusted with children. Every day. Coming over here in a 100% vacation mindset would be a detriment not only to their studies, but also to my relationship with them and the life lessons we teach each other. It’s not a small responsibility and I take it quite seriously.
Granted, this responsibility offers me an ability to travel like I never have before. A lifestyle that’s amazingly rewarding in vastly different ways. But, in order for the traveling part to work, one hand has to wash the other and make the teaching part work. Now, it’s more than possible to get through a year here and just deal with the teaching thing. Take advantage of the situation, drink too much, travel a ton, and cash out. Many people have done it. For them, maybe this is a big vacation, but it’s not sustainable. Coming to Korea with the sole mindset of vacationing would make for a great week or three, possibly even a full month of time traveling to countries throughout Asia and Korea itself. But that leaves quite a bit of time to twiddle the ol thumbs and wonder if you really like working with kids or not. 40+ hours of most of my weeks are spent at school, and much like the ol office job I had back home, if you don’t like those 40 hours it can make any experience drag.
Alright, so this isn’t a vacation. So what? Does that make it real life?
Is real life only attainable through what I’ve been taught to believe is the social norm? Day jobs, bills to pay, houses to fix, mouthes to feed, and so on and so on? Is the definition of a real life having struggles to overcome?
If so, I assure you, this is as real as life has ever gotten for me. All of the triumphs and struggles of day to day life are here. I’ve gone on at length about the job, I still have bills to pay, I still have responsibilities, and I’m continually trying to learn new ways of thinking and grow as a person. If this isn’t living real life, then I surely don’t know what is.
Living as an expat is a very conscious lifestyle choice for me. This isn’t about being “away from it all” for a little while, I’m in it. This is an entire shift in mindset on a permanent basis that can only come from immersing into another culture. While it’s great to get some flavor of what it’s like to live in another country while visiting, living in it is a 12 course meal with some dishes you just don’t want to eat (I’m looking at you, beondegi). Others will leave you wanting more, wondering how you could have possibly lived before you knew about them.
But, even with that, I’m not feeling the same exuberant thrill this time around. That wanderlust sense of being in a far away place hasn’t really hit me as hard. Most likely because I’ve lived here before, and I’ve taught before, so this isn’t a brand new experience. In that way, I’m learning moving to another country is much like any drug, the first high is always the best.
But I’m OK feeling this way. It lets me know that this is indeed real life. I’m not off on some big grand adventure I’ll eventually come down from. I’m just living a happier life than the one I had before.
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